Lots of other body parts hog the limelight when it comes to sex, but the organ which he probably appreciates the most is the tongue…
Oral sex is all about power – in a win-win type of way. Getting someone to lick your bits puts them in a submissive position which used to be thought of as ‘degrading’. But giving great oral sex can put the giver in a power position as well.
Dr Glenn Wilson, a psychologist and expert on human sexual behaviour, tells the story of two oral sex legends. Wu Hu, an Empress of the T’ang Dynasty, was said to exert dominance over all visiting foreign officials by making them perform cunnilingus on her. But Cleopatra is reputed to have been a master fellatrix and rumoured to have performed oral sex on 100 Roman soldiers in a single night. (Odd that she’s remembered more for her haircut and eyebrows given this supposed achievement, but there you are!)
This week’s oral sex master class is on giving oral sex to a man. Click here for my guide on giving oral sex to a woman.
GET INTO POSITION
Fellatio for men is often something which preludes intercourse and he may well be keen not to ejaculate so he can ‘save’ his erection for penetrative sex. For this reason, you might not need to worry as much about getting into a long-term comfortable position as a man might do if he were to settle into giving a woman oral sex.
If he does want to orgasm through oral sex, positions where you have good access to his testicles, anus and perineum become more important. To take him through to a glorious finale, you’ll need to manipulate more than just his penis! The primary rule for picking positions: his penis likes to point upward. Yes, it is fascinatingly bendy-bendy, but seeing how far you can point it downward before it snaps back up is a lot more fun your end than his…
GET TO WORK
The basic rules: Use your hand as well as your mouth, create decent suction but don’t suck, start slow and gentle, work up to faster, firmer action. Remember, most feeling is in the head of the penis so there’s no need to ‘deep throat’ (unless you want to), or to swallow, while we’re on the topic. So long as you warn him (and get him to warn you when he’s about to erupt), keep working on him with your hand and allow him to ejaculate somewhere nice (like your breasts/neck), he seriously won’t mind.
If you do want to give swallowing a go, but just don’t like the taste, the trick is to either swallow quickly or hold it in your mouth till he’s done, then politely spit it into a tissue by the bed or excuse yourself and spit it into the sink. Keep a glass of water handy so you can refresh your mouth afterwards.
Make eye contact: Start by looking him in the eyes and sucking his finger like you’re going to be working on other bits. Then move downward.
Decide on your first move: Dispense a few ‘lollypop’ licks, licking up and down the shaft and head while holding the penis steady with your hand, then prepare for the first time you take him into your mouth. Some swear it’s most effective if you take as much of him as you can, in one go, in one heart-stopping, sensational swoop. Others say it’s better to tease – covering the head only, swirling your tongue around, then moving millimeter by millimeter down the shaft. I say both work for different occasions and moods.
Relax the muscles in your jaw and neck: Breathe through your mouth and cover your teeth by either pushing your lips out in an exaggerated pout (best), or pulling them back to cover them (second best). Flicking the head with the tip of your tongue will get him as excited as a man about to walk through the front doors of Ikea on a Sunday. Instead, imagine you’re licking an ice-cream and give broad, long, slow, lascivious swishes on the head using a flat tongue.
Settle into a rhythm: Place your hand at the base of his penis and move it up and down in the standard ‘fist’ motion. Let your mouth follow your hand. Get a good rhythm going then start to twist your hand as it reaches the head to provide extra stimulation. Throw in a swirl of the tongue as you slush it around the ‘join’ (between the head and shaft), paying special attention to the frenulum (the stringy bit of sensitive skin where the head of the penis meets the shaft, on the side facing his testicles).
Act like you want to be there: Make noise. Pull back, admire him, then gobble him up again eagerly. Concentrate on what you’re doing. If you find yourself pondering how to solve the world famine problem, it’s time to change technique. Even if he’s particularly fond of a particular method, stop to change hands/lick or suck his testicles/kiss him, so your mouth and hand are temporarily removed. This will stop him becoming desensitized (and you bored silly).
You have lift off when his penis swells and turns a purplish red, his testicles shrink and rise toward his body, he thrusts deeper and faster (or goes still for a few seconds) and his body tenses. Other clues: he’s shouting ‘Ohmigod, I’m going to come!’ (though think you might have figured that one out for yourself!) or grunting and groaning like he’s in excessive pain. If you’re swallowing, stop stimulation completely when he stops ejaculating or thrusting into your mouth. Hold his penis gently in your mouth for a second or two, then remove it. If you’re letting him ejaculate elsewhere, remove your mouth and use your hand to masturbate him, letting go after the last spurts of semen.
Give his penis a little kiss and lay it gently on his tummy. By all means go back up for a cuddle and kiss but don’t be offended if he hardly reciprocates or seems in another world for a few minutes (hours). Mother Nature is flooding his body with relaxing, sleepy-type hormones which make him want to crash. The original purpose was to knock him out completely so he’d get maximum rest in a short period of time and be up and literally rearing to go in record time, ready to make more babies to populate the earth. These days it has no function other than to annoy the hell out of women, given our bodies are flooded with attachment hormones after sex which make us want to snuggle and bond.